Friday, June 25, 2010

Nervous Breakdown

It happened two months ago when I had a serious nervous breakdown. I didn’t have the will to neither live nor die. You must be thinking that I am exaggerating here but trust me, it is the truth! That month was the worst month ever in my life.

It was a good conversation and such which cost me a fortune for my silly mistake but it was all worth it. However, I wasn’t being smart enough to just get a new number at that time. Silly me.

Anyway, it was then when I re-read the mail and I was crushed when I realised I didn’t get the meaning right. I was being a fool for the past few months. Consequently, I had a serious nervous breakdown that I requested for two working days’ leave to rest.

I even had a litre of ice-cream during one of the nights.

To amuse myself, I decided to have a little bit of fun with my all-time buddy, Hon, to fool our mutual friends that we were together.

Never would I realise that was the biggest and stupidest mistake I had ever done. Now, I could not turn back the time to fix it nor could I amend it. I did try to fix it but I was too late. I made things worse when I was trying hard to amend what I had destroyed about a year ago.

Now, I wouldn’t dare to do anything other than watching from afar. I am very limited to knowing how he’s doing and such. I don’t know what kind of pathway I am choosing right now but I know I had made the silliest decision back then...

If only...


Caryne a.k.a. F-I-S-H said...

Be strong sweety! You can do this! :)
You have friends who walk you through this No worries. :)

Fumoffu said...

Thanks :)

I am working not to be strong but stronger :)

goingkookies said...

You do the best you can.. and that is all anyone can ask for.. really.

And most importantly, make sure you learn from this incident ya.

I also did something really stupid that hurt someone else and myself... it really messed me up. And I am still hoping that i learn from that incident..