Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Behind the Scene

This is going to be an emo post. You are free to leave this post if you do not want to be as miserable as me after reading this post because as promised here, I would definitely get into that when I had a chance to think through on what to type.

To be honest, heading back home was the last thing I ever wanted to do when I was still in Shanghai. It truly was a bad idea to go back, or maybe not. I know it is great to be able to see your friends and family back home but there are things that you might want to avoid, and that is to see things that could pierce right into your heart and you wished you have had felt it when it happened.

As you can see, people, I am the type of person who would try to avoid problems. Seriously, I am. But it seems the problems would not let you off the hook easily. Eventually they will come back and haunt you hundred times more than it should have been.

Yes, people, I considered myself lucky enough as I did not bring loads of stuff over to Shanghai that could reminded me of him as much as those that could remind him of me. Especially that adorable black devil. That smile just penetrated my heart when I met him again in my room.

Going back to Malaysia had changed me. Like totally. Miserable, depressed, emotional. I don’t know and I definitely cannot understand how he had been through but I do know it is definitely excruciating because, people, I am currently going through what he had been through.

I admit when it happened, I was killed that night but survived as I was fortunate enough to have my mom to distract me for a week or two in which how this post was uploaded. I did look as if I was doing pretty good. That was because after she’s gone back to Malaysia, on that day itself, I was actively in search of new place to stay, which it did distract me a lot. Apartment hunting and moving out were really stressful. This went on until the end of that month when I finally moved into my new place and settled down a bit though it didn’t go as smoothly as I hoped for as mentioned here.

Moving on to my birthday month, I finally understood how it truly feel when you did not receive a birthday wish from only that particular person you really wanted to receive from. It would be like the best gift ever for your birthday. Therefore, things gradually turned ugly, post break-up regret, but I got myself into a shit situation which distracted me till the end of the year.


Things continue to turn uglier in the early of two double-O ten. And it got even much worse when I was back in Malaysia for Spring Festival which (bam!), for the first time in my life, I decided to look back...

I’m getting outta control!

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