To Fall In Love Again?

Facebook is amazing.

It is amazing how I am still able to look back all the posts posted on my timeline as far as back in year two oh oh seven.

Of course there are people who entered my life and then left. However, there are still a bunch of people who entered my life and stay, up until now.

Sometimes I have to look back to learn what I had missed so as not to repeat the same mistake again in the future. I only look in the rear view mirror to glance back remembering the memories and mandating that I will not make the same mistakes. Of course, I constantly look forward making sure I do not miss a thing in the present!

However, there is a saying that goes ‘Sometimes in order to appreciate your future, you must remember the past.’

I do accept the fact that there are things or people that I cannot get back again, ever. I guess ‘We do not meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason’ really hit me.

I will never forget that when one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look at the closed door for too long that we do not see the one that has already been opened for us.

Therefore, I am now entering the new door of happiness.

No, I am still single but I am looking forward to fall in love again. Yes, I know I was betrayed and hurt real bad in the past relationship but this shall not stop me to fall in love again. This shall not change my nature. However, I shall change my view in getting into a relationship.

Why do I want to be in a relationship?

Not so that I will be happy.

Not so that I feel completed.

Not so that I feel good about myself.

All these perceptions are inane! They will only aggravate the relationship between you and your other half.

I learned, in a hard way, that happiness comes from within. I am responsible on my own happiness. I shall feel good about myself. I am complete with myself. Also, I shall never ever forget my own value when I am loving my significant other.

If I do not love myself, what rights do I have to expect him to love me? If I am not happy with myself, what rights do I have to expect him to be happy with me? If I am not enjoying my own company, what rights do I have to expect him to enjoy my company?

In a nutshell, I shall stop whingeing about the other half not being able to make me happy and all those shits.

I want to be in a relationship because I want to share my wonderful life with him. Also, to fall in love with him, I must fall in love with his lifestyle as well because to love someone, I must love his life too. Else, how is he able to share his life with me?

Therefore, do not judge me by my past. I am not in the past anymore.

Accept me for who I am because this is me today.

Two Years..

So it has already been two years.

Two years ago, if you had asked me if I ever had the slightest thought that I would end up like now, I would say no.

Two years ago, if you had asked me to reconsider my decision, I would say no.

Two years ago..

It is neither short nor long but a lot of things come by unexpectedly.

I was damaged emotionally, mentally and physically but, I am proud that I am still standing strong and tall.

Even if I could go back in time, I would still make the same decision.

Why?

It does hurt.

Hurt a lot.

Like a big hole in my heart that I thought I would die.

However, I am stronger now. I am tougher now. I am wiser now, well, a bit since I am still stubborn when it comes to relationship.

I feel I could face anything!

I believe those who had been by my side all these while, they had seen the happiness that I had when I first moved here and then, I fell real hard. Blimey, I did a lot of stupid things which disrespect myself.

“I can never ever move on” “I cannot make it” “This is hard”

Those were all the thoughts I had back then.

And also, because of this, I managed to know who truly care about me and never leave me.

Trust me, someone who said “I will always be by your side” or “I will never leave you” are not always the ones that will stay.

When I looked back, I realised that nothing can bring me down now.

Chapter 3 (Part II): How Do Women Cope With Stress?

They talk!

A woman feels a need to talk about her feelings and all the possible problems that are associated with her feelings. However, she is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.

Unfortunately, when women talk about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with him about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more problems, the more he feels blamed. He does not realise that she is talking to feel better. A man does not know that she will appreciate it if he just listens. This is because, men talk about problems for only two reasons: they are blaming someone or they are seeking advice.

If a woman is really upset, a man assumes she is blaming him and he begins to defend himself. He thinks if he explains himself, she will stop blaming him. The more he defends himself, the more upset she becomes. He does not realise that explanations are not what she needs. She needs him to understand her feelings and let her move on to talk about more problems.

If a woman seems less upset, then he assumes she is asking for advice. However, when he offers solutions to her problems, she just continues talking about more problems. After offering two or three solutions, he expects her to feel better. When she does not feel better, he feels his solutions have been rejected and he feels unappreciated.

Men also become impatient when woman talk about problems in great detail. He mistakenly assumes that when she talks in great detail, that all the details are necessary for him to find a solution to her problem. Again, he does not realise that she is looking not for a solution from him but for his caring and understanding.

Also, listening is difficult for a man because he mistakenly assumes there is a logical order when she randomly changes from one problem to another. Again, he does not realise that she finds relief through talking about problems, worries, disappointments and frustrations and that these topics need not be in any order and tend to be logically unrelated.

Another reason a man mat resist listening is that he is looking for the bottom line. He cannot begin formulating his solution until he knows the outcome. Something a woman can do to make it a little easier for him is to let him know in advance the outcome of the story and then go back and give the details. Avoid keeping him in suspense.

More important, if a woman can remind a man that she just wants to talk about her problems and he does not have to solve any of them, it can help him to relax and listen.

To know how men cope with stress, check out the post here.

 

Extracted from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Don’t Judge Me By My Look!

My beauty is not limited to my looks or the way I walk. It is not my body or my hair that defines me. Do not judge me by my looks, my clothes or the way I wear my hair.

My intelligence is not limited to my degrees or my education level. Do not make assumptions about me by looking at my income, my house or my lifestyle

I cannot be defined by all these.

Judge me by the love and compassion I have in my heart.

Find the beauty in the way I smile when I hide my scars and overcome my pain and my passion to survive despite all the odds in my life.

Judge me by the way I treat people around me and the way I touch so many hearts with my unconditional love.

My life is not glorious but it is not awful or pathetic either.

I may not have a great influence on people I meet but I am unique in my own special ways, even with my flaws and imperfections.

And if this is not enough, you can define me by the footprints of love that I will leave behind in the hearts of people when I am dead and gone.

I am proud of what I am.