Friday, November 1, 2013

Overcoming A Breakup!


Lately, either I met ladies who are heart broken or they came to me by their own will. I am neither a love guru nor mending-up-broken-hearts expert.

It is because of one simple reason – I had been there. Therefore, I understand very well on what they are going through and the pain they have to endure.

If you had been following my blog closely, you should know - I was depressed, hurt and torn apart. It was neither my first nor true love but no matter how you look at it, getting over the pain never seems to get easier.

However, if you had always been by my side, you could have seen very clearly on how this cheerful and happy dopey young lady became really depressed and weak but managed to get back up up until today. You are the ones who had seen the most of me compared to other people and I am pretty sure you are proud to see I made it through the storm.

Why am I here? I just thought I should share with you on how I managed to get over my breakup. Disclaimer: Below are just my personal experiences so, I am not holding any responsibility with whatever you are doing next.


First of all, ladies, always remember that it is not wrong for you to be emotional. Let it all out! That includes cry, yell and scream. Just do whatever it takes to let it all out. Partying, drinking and finding some new guys will not help. The blow will return unless you take the time to let it out. Do not rush yourself to move on as well. Take your time. Just do not try to get back with him which leads to my next point.

The attempts of getting him back will not only hurt you but will make him lose his respect to you completely. Remember that if a man can move on easily and doing really well after the breakup, it can only means that he had been thinking to break off the relationship for a period of time! Therefore, do not waste your time trying to patch things up with him. I know it is not going to be easy. I had been there, alright? However, it hurts you even more so, why do you want to do that?


It then leads to my third point – block him out of your life! Stop contacting him or texting him. Do whatever it takes to make yourself not able to keep in touch with him – block him in Facebook, delete all the pictures of him and even delete his number! Okay, I know deleting number is useless because you probably remember his number but what the hell? So long you still see him in your contact list, you will never stopped contacting him at all! Another way is to focus your mind on other things which leads to the next point.

Spend time with your friends, exercise, get more involved into your work or probably some volunteer works. In my case, I spent time with my friends (and we are really close compared to before) and also I got more involved into my work. Some people keep him off their minds by socialising and making new friends. For me, I was not able to do it because I do not want to send out negative signals to newly made friends. I waited until I was fully recovered and ready only, I started to socialise and make new friends – I recently joined Toastmasters Club.


Nevertheless, we are still human. The thought of him will immediately haunt you inside your head and you will start to think about what it happened, how it could have been different and what you could have done in order for things to take a different course. Try to think about it. We are unable to go back in time and change anything. There is no portal or machine for us to go back and change the history. You will just be torturing yourself for no reason so, stop dwelling and move forward. I know it is not easy because I had been there. Since I made it through, why can’t you? It will definitely take time which leads us to the next and final point.

Time really heals everything. Trust me, it does. Do not ever rush yourself. Heal your wounds in a comfortable pace but do not ever try to look back. Taking the first step is always the hardest but once you managed to do it, the rest of the journey ain't that difficult. However, you must not stop and turn back because you can only move forward and not backward. Of course, if you are tired, you can take a rest for a while but continue to move forward after.


It was never easy for me as well but it does not mean that you will not be able to make it. You are not the only one. I had been there and managed to make it through the storm. I was able to do it and thus, it is important to understand that soon, you will, too!


Brendonfoo's movie critics said...

Well, story of your life...sometimes in order to in love need to enjoy being alone or single. You rest, you heal and you get back on that bench. Eventually you will find your only and truly one. Until that day, you will be grateful that you been through all the pain, and you're still here!!! Till that day you will realize your story is so much interesting.

Fumoffu said...

Thanks for leaving a comment here. Yeah, I understand that concept well enough :)