It Always Gets Better

I was reading the older posts on my blog and came across this particular post.

I sounded really weak. I sounded really troubled. I sounded really hopeless.

But guess what?

After I made a review on what I had written in that post, I realised that I am so much stronger than I thought.

Loneliness had been eating me up? What nonsense is that? What was I thinking? Look at me, I am doing really good. In fact, I feel awesome. As if nothing had ever happened to me.

I feel lonely at my new lair. Are you kidding me? Things are going great now. I have new housemates moving in and they are a bunch of nice people. All of us came from the same hometown. Awesome, right?

Not being able to face my family? What was wrong with me? They are the people who love me for who I really am. They are the people who accept me. They are the people who will never leave me. Without them, what am I?

No friends on Mainland? Oh my gosh, something must have hit my head real hard. I had been going out a lot and even my housemate was saying I am always not at home. I have more friends on Mainland compared to on Island! I should have realised this earlier.

You see the point now?

I guess when you are depressed, you are blinded from the bright side. If I could leave a message to few months ago’s Angelina, I would tell her that things are not always permanent so, enjoy the good stuff when it happens and do not be bothered by the bad ones because things are very very rare to be as bad as it seems.

It always gets better.

Messed Up Life

Lately, I knew a number of people who are going through a messed up life especially when it involves feelings and relationships.

Some went through it for years and ended up being hurt real bad.

Some went through it for months and felt really bad about it but not doing anything. In the end, I can guarantee you that they will end up being hurt real bad too.

The question is – they chose it or being forced ?

Honestly, no matter which it was, the result will definitely be the same – hurt – regardless you set a borderline, no string attached, friends with benefits or whatsoever shit you could come up with.

It is useless.

You either hurt yourself or the other person or even both. I had seen and witnessed all three scenarios.

No, I am not being judgmental here.

The fact that I had been there and done that, I know and understand really really well. Seeing them reminded me of my past.

Therefore, if you are still in such messed up life, please clean it up soon. No one can save you other than yourself. Not only you gain pain but you will be haunted by remorse too.

And if you find yourself being part of the messed up life of someone else, please get out soon. Never drop down to their level. Just know that you are better and walk away. You deserve better.

Present

Weeks had passed.

It was not easy to click “Okay” but I am glad I managed to do it and about 3G of my drive’s capacity was freed.

It feels great to put the past behind me and enjoy only the present while caring less about the future. Well, not that I do not give a damn about my future. I just do not want to get bothered by it too much.

Nobody can see what is going to happen in the future. It is scary. So, to make my life easier, I have to care less about it.

Many had changed and it all began since June 9th and I will tell you when the time is right..